The Survey
by nouvelle.vie
Summary: Harry fills out an internet survey. Watch and learn. [Oneshot]


Disclaimer- No ownership of Harry Potter, the survey, Yahoo! PornBots or Myspace.  
Takes place just before the 6th book commences, before Dumbledore whisks Harry away.

* * *

Harry Potter was bored. Worse still, he was stuck at the Dursley's for who knows how long. True, they were out of his hair for the next hour, at Dudley's latest boxing match. Harry decided to give the internet another go, having recovered from the confusing and terrifying Yahoo! PornBot incident of last week.

Dudley was still logged onto his myspace account, so Harry browsed it for a while. Dudley's "friends" liked to post bulletins with pointless surveys and questionnaires they filled out. Harry read through a rather long one that a blonde girl (who Dudley had never met, and surely never would) had completed. One question read; Ever made a hit list? The girl had answered; 'Hells yeah, all those Surrey slags are on it!".

Harry couldn't resist. He copy and pasted the survey into a new bulletin.

"_**Harry Potter Owns His Cousin"**_

_Name:: Harry James Potter. Don't forget it._

_Age:: 16_

_Height:: I don't know! Taller than I was last year. _

_Weight:: Again, I don't know. Lets just say that I'm thinner than dear old Diddykins._

_Sex:: Male._

_**Finish it: **_

_I am:: bored._

_I wish:: Ron would come rescue me from you Muggles._

_Life is:: life?_

_My first kiss:: was wet. _

_Sometimes I can be:: a stubborn git._

_I really want to:: see my friends. _

_I love:: Chocolate Frogs._

_I hate:: Lots of things. Want to hear it?_

_My love is like:: an article from Witch Weekly. :P_

_My heart is:: Still beating? Yep, it is._

_Forever is:: A long time._

_If I could be:: …an owl?_

_Dead:: Pass._

_Here without you:: …What the Hell?_

_I envy:: Ron._

_I do cherish:: My friends, even when I'm treating them like my accessories._

_**Which is Worse? **_

_Friend dying/or parent dying?: Well, seeing as how my parents are dead, I'm gonna have to say a friend._

_Losing all old memories/never being able to make new ones?: I wouldn't mind losing some of my old memories._

_Being beat by the one u love or being emotionally scarred by the one u love: Same thing, really._

_**What would u do if: **_

_Your best friend dies because of you?: I would want to die right next to them._

_Your true love moved out of the country?: I don't know. _

_If you were sexually abused!?_

_If you were betrayed by someone you trusted or cared about?: Feel very shocked. What else could I do?_

_If you found out your best friend wanted to die?: Obsessed with death, are you? Well, I would make them live, or die with them._

_What would u do for a Klondike bar?: Absolutely nothing. _

_**Questions: **_

_Believe in second chances?: Yes. _

_Afraid of death?: No, I'm not._

_What 5 things/people would u bring to a deserted island?: Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Hedwig, and some of Mrs. Weasley's pudding. _

_What color describes your mood?: Grey going on to blue. This really is a depressing survey. _

_Who would u die for?: My mum and dad, my friends._

_Would u rather be alone and rich or with friends and poor:P What do you think?_

_Have you ever wanted to take anything back?: Of course._

_What?: Department of Mysteries… err._

_Ever experienced rage?: Yes._

_Ever been abused by a significant other?: No. _

_What hurts more words or actions?: So far, actions have done me more harm._

_Do you think danger is exciting?: I could do without it, that's for sure._

_Been emotionally abused?: Yes, and thank you to the Dursleys!_

_Do certain songs make you cry?: No._

_Which ones?: Pass._

_Ever made a hit list?: I suppose there have been certain people…_

_Low self esteem?: No.._

_Ever seen something that broke your heart?: Yes. _

_To whom do u run to when all else fails?: I guess Ron or Hermione, or in a real pinch, Dumbledore._

_What are some songs that mean everything to u?: Uh. None._

_Favorite song lyrics?: Pass._

_Have you ever hurt someone to make them see something?: Probably. I don't like to think that I have._

_Most depressing song?: Pass._

_Define love?: Loyalty._

_Worst emotion in the world?: Err. _

_If you represented a deadly sin what would it be?: Pass.._

_What are u looking for in life?: Peace._

_**Shits getting deep**_

_Someone that was presently a part of your life that you haven't seen in a while: Sirius. _

_Do u miss them?: Yes._

_Why?: That's a stupid question. Why wouldn't I miss him?_

_Can you tell your true love everything and he/she will still love you?: I don't know. Cho wasn't much of a true love…_

_If not then is he/she really your true love?: I don't know!_

_Have you ever had someone in your life then, made them invisible?: Yeah, when Ron and I had that huge row a couple of years ago.._

_How old do u think u will be when u die?: Very old, I hope._

_How do u wanna die?: Peacefully, please._

_What's the hardest thing u ever had to do?: Watch Sirius die. Duel with Voldemort. What hasn't been hard in my life?_

_What's your cure against your fear and your pain?: I guess I don't have one._

_Ever been in love so honest and sincere that u totally couldn't control it?: No._

_Ever love the person your with but been in love with someone else?: No.._

_Could u fall asleep in your b/f g/f eyes like a waterbed?: Uh?_

_Do u feel empty and alone?: Yes, in fact, I'm really starting to._

_If you could take one hurtful thing back you have done in your life, what would it be?: I would take back the mistakes I made that hurt others._

_Why?: Why shouldn't I?!_

_If there where 3 things you would die for what would they be?: My parent, friends, what is right._

_why?: That's just the way things should be._

_Look ahead 10 yrs where do u see yourself?: Right now, I just want to make it through the next year. I'll worry about 10 years when I get there._

_Out of nowhere have u ever just broke down and cried for no reason?: In my sleep, but with reason._

_Look deep inside of your own eyes what do u see?: Fear._

_Like this survey?: No._

Harry clicked the red X in the corner of the screen, putting his head down on the desk.

His eyes were open, staring blankly. Who knew a stupid internet survey could be so painful, he thought dully.


End file.
